Saving you is all I Have Left
by Kawaii Slut
Summary: I'm sorry, So sorry I couldn't save you. I tried, I did. There is and probably never will be a cure to this, and you will never want to give this a try anyway. Laven. Rated T for maybe strong language. Maybe M later. Re-written version of 'It wasn't Meant to be like this'


**Chapter 1**

**How to Save an Abandon Soul**

Allen walked up the hall with a small bag of newly washed clothes in one hand and a fake smile that is forever present on his face, making his way back to his small, lonely cave-like room. He had just come from the canteen eating his usual amount but not been able to keep it down he soon ran to the closest bathroom which happened to be a certain annoying red head. Lavi had comforted him by rubbing his back and giving him some herbal tea which he found out how to make in a book he had read a while ago.

This had been happening all the way through the mission he went on with Kanda. He ate one apple that he was able to keep down in the 3 weeks he was on the mission.

He knew something was wrong. He knew, he was ill but didn't want anyone to see him when he was in his weakest moment. But Lavi had. Lavi had seen the real Allen, the one with no will power the one that cried the one that shouted and flinched when touched.

Allen turned a corner and found his door walking in he took off his dirty clothes throwing them into the wash basket. He made his way to the wardrobe and pulled out a tank top and baggy bottoms putting on some pumps as shoes before putting his clean clothes away. Slowly after that a knock came at the door. Walking over and opening it he smiled brightly with his famous poker face smiles.

"Hello Lenalee, what's up?" He asked.

"Nothing much, where you going to go training?" She asked smiling sweetly back.

"Ah, yeah sort of." He said scratching the back of his head.

"Oh, Well Komui wants you to give him some off your time. I don't know what he wants, he just told me to get you as soon as possible and send you to his office." She said with a worried look.

"Oh well tell him I will be there in a short while after I find Tim he keeps hiding in my underwear draw for a strange reason." He said with a small light hearted giggle. She turned a shade of red and giggled herself.

"Well good luck with him, and I will go tell Komui now see you in the canteen at dinner time, say 7pm See you later" She said running off before he could decline her offer. He closed the door and went over to his draws getting Timcampy out and setting him on his head before walking out the door.

"Welcome home Allen you did an amazing job on the mission!" A Komui stated with a smile as the white haired exorcist walked into his office. By now Tim had flown off somewhere. The boy took a seat on the sofa in-front of his desk that was actually clean of paperwork for once. Komui looked at Allen with a bit of a serious look that turned into a sad smile. The boy had a bit of an upset look as he glared at the carpet with a glare that could have burnt holes through it.

"How did things go on the mission Allen-kun?" Komui asked trying to make eye contact with the younger boy.

"Okay I guess we got the innocence with minimum damage to the people and buildings around us and came home like it says in the report." Allen answered the older of the two.

"That sounds good. Kanda said you where a bit . . . . Unwell, to say." He said looking for a answer or explanation but got none.

"Allen?"

Getting up from his chair making his way over to the boy on the sofa, he slowly sat down on the chair next to the boy."Allen, please what's wrong? You seem different in a way are you feeling okay?" Komui asked his serious yet oddly caring side coming out. Like he could tell that something was wrong in a way.

" I-I feel sick" Allen said childishly. But this was serious he never really got sick, the navy blue haired scientist held a hand to the younger one's forehead to feel that it didn't have a temperature. Concern was etched on his face.

"Do you want us to run some tests and see if it's something bad or if it's just a cold?" Komui asked. Allen just nodded as he silently cursed in his head at how truly week he was.

"Allen?. . . ." Just a nod of a head again, "How long have you been feeling unwell?" Allen slowly lifted his head looking at Komui.

"For the last 7 weeks. . . " He trailed off. Komui's frowned at the answer.

"And have you been eating food?"

"Y-yes. . ."

Komui got up from the sofa and went to his desk and came back with a syringe to draw blood from Allen's arm, so he could take it to do tests on.

"Allen, could you please hold your arm out so I can clean it and take blood?"

He asked taking a seat, bringing out a rag and some cleaning alcohol. "Y-yeah" The white haired boy replied. He held out his arm and looked at Komui wiping it clean. After he finished searching for the vein, the scientist slowly pushed it in and drew blood, slowly taking it out again.

"I will tell you when we are finished testing your blood and I'll take some scans with some new medical equipment we have made, Allen. Come see me tonight after dinner, Will you be okay until then? "

Allen just nodded and stood up from his chair with a quick bow and left the room running to the bathroom puking his stomach content out. Komui sighed as he left the room know why he left in a hurry.

Allen looked into the toilet to see he had started to vomit blood he stared at the toilet for a moment before sliding down the back of the stall door bringing his legs to his chest breathing heavily sobbing into his knees.

Allen lay on his bed dry tears on his cheeks. He turned over and looked at his small clock next to his bed saying 6:50pm. He slowly lifted himself into sitting position and rubbed his eyes looking out the small window.

The clouds where grey with rain pelting down onto the window with 'pita pata' noises.

'Haha, the weather is just how I feel' He thought, feeling sorry for himself. Swinging his legs round so he could stand. The young boy was wobbly as he made his way to his wardrobe and pulled out a black cardigan and put it on over what he was wearing feeling warm again.

He really wasn't up for Lenalee taking him for dinner with Lavi and Kanda. Kanda was the whole reason that he was in this position with Komui knowing about him been ill. He couldn't deal with all off the samurai's insults. He couldn't deal with Lavi's happiness and Lenalee's worrying over him.

He walked over to his bed feeling nauseous. He slowly sat down and put his head between his knees breathing harshly. 'I-it hurts... s-so much' He thought as he coughed blood onto the wooden floor. He looked at his clock again and saw what time it was "I-its 7pm already?" He said as he slowly and carefully got up onto his long legs wiping blood from his pink lips.

He opened his door putting on a half-assed smile and walking out the room closing the door behind him composing himself, walking normally with the usual smile. When he got to the canteen he made his way to Jerry ordering half of his usual amount and sitting down with Lenalee, Lavi, Kanda and some other exorcist.

"Hello Allen" Lenalee greeted as he sat down next to Kanda.

"Hi" He said back earning looks from Lavi and Kanda.

"Is that all your going to eat?" Lenalee asked. He nodded his head and slowly started to eat it. Allen stared at the food with a discussed look on his face as he sat there.

He ate the rest in as the minutes went by it had been 20 minutes and he had only got half way through it and had given up walking over and putting his dishes to be cleaned. He looked over at the rest of them and smiled before walking out of the canteen to go to Komui's office for the weird testing on his body to begin.

"I wonder what's wrong with him." Lavi stated. "This isn't normal for him, I mean I know that's still a lot to us but for him. Well..." He trailed off.

"I know." Lenalee answered.

"What do you think happened?" Lavi asked

"It has to do with what happened in my brothers' office." She replied.

"Sound's likely."

"What should we do?"

"Um... I don't know"

"Why don't you just go see what he does in his day like stalk him he might go back to your brothers' office tomorrow or might do suspicious things?" Kanda butted in.

"You're a genius Yu-chan!" Lavi shouted hopping out of his seat, earning stares from others.

"Do you want to keep your head" Lavi nodded "Then don't call me that!" Kanda shouted back.

"So that's it Lavi will stalk Allen tomorrow and see if he goes to brothers office? Let's say we meet up at 10pm outside my brothers' office and discus what Lavi saw?" Lenalee asked. Everyone nodded in agreement before leaving the canteen to go and do their own stuff.

Allen turned over in bed to look at his clock, his eyes widening to see the time. He quickly chucked on a pair of black skinny fit trousers, white baggy shirt and some black ankle boots. He checked the time again to see it was 11:55am and ran out the door slamming it behind him. He started to run down the hall running into finders and other exorcists on the way.

He finally made it to Komui's office after falling over 4 times and feeling like he was going to vomit for the millionth time that morning. As he went to knock on the door he looked around checking to see if anyone was there before knocking and walking in.

"Hello Allen. How are you feeling today?"

Komui asked his voice a little too cheerful. Allen looked around the room before letting his smile drop. "I'm okay, I guess..." Allen answered a bit unsure of him.

"Allen, you need to tell me." Komui stated his smile also dropping.

"I-I feel sad... no ill I feel, I don't know. It just always hurts now." Allen said walking over and sitting on the sofa.

Little did Allen see the figure standing in the back of the room leaning against the wall like it was the most normal thing ever?

"Allen I have finished testing your blood and assessing the scans that we took yesterday... I tried to do it as accurately and quickly as I could." Komui stopped and walked over sitting on the sofa. It felt like something inside the older man was about to tear at the news he would give. The figure in the back of the room was listening trying to work out what was happening.

"Allen... I'm sorry but you have cancer"

There was a uncomfortable silence in the room for a second before the younger opened his mouth then closed it then opened it again. His ears were ringing loudly, almost deafening him.

The figure in the back of the room with red hair stood there in shock not moving a mussel.

"Allen?" Komui asked trying to get him to answer.

Tears started streaming down his pale white cheeks.

"C-cancer?"


End file.
